Self-derogation
It's 2.21am and I'm sitting at the computer trying to download articles related to GLBT in Asia. As the devil would have it, my Internet broke down 3x, and my wireless adaptor broke down once during these 2 hrs I've been sitting here. Pages can't seem to load, and after managing to download 2 articles, the other articles don't even appear when I click on it. I'm wondering if it's the silly NUS policy of downloading only 10% of the journal or book that is automatically preventing the articles from loading. I can't even read the abstract now. It is rather silly indeed to have such a policy coz I have to read up on Asian gays and they have these special issues devoted entirely to Asian gays and I can only download 10%? Ridiculous.

Guess I'm feeling kinda grumpy right now coz I am reminded of today's incident. Just makes me feel downright awful, and the escapist in me seeks to remove myself from people. But how can I? When these are the very people I speak to everyday. EMDR doesn't help, and I don't really want to use EMDR on these incidents because I don't want to forget I ever felt a certain way. Sometimes I wonder why God put these people in my life... Argh. Fan ah.