Loving and being loved

I've often pondered this elusive concept of love. Used in its most common form, love evokes images of care, concern, tenderness, warmth, security, intimacy and bonding. Many people today seek love for all these things. They say they want to be loved, they wish to be in love, or they hope that the one whom they love will love them back. But is it truly love that they are seeking or merely fleeting emotions of intimacy and security? It seems that what people desire most is to belong - falling "in love" easily, wanting to be loved are merely unconscious metaphors for wanting to belong to someone, with someone, forever. They want to feel safe with this special person, want to trust this person, so that they can rest, and not need to actively seek someone with whom they can navigate the treacherous world with. But is this love truly necessary? Is seeking such love detrimental to one's relationship with God? When you have problems, do you first turn to your partner or turn to God? Does God want us to look to Him for answers, for comfort and for love? He loves us but do we love Him as much? He sent His Son to die for us but why do we always turn to others (friends, family, partners, counselors) for comfort before we turn to Him?

In the last few years, which I refer to now as "The Dark Ages", I stopped seeking solace in God. I stopped praying. I stopped believing that He can work miracles. Sporadically, I feel Him and I believe, but when things don't work out all the time, my faith waned and praising God was merely with words on my lips and disbelief in my heart. But I've since learned that God never leaves us, no matter what we do to Him; no matter how we ignore Him, He'll always be there when we need Him. We just have to ask and it will be given unto us, seek and we will receive. The last two weeks, I started to pray again. I do forget some nights before I go to sleep, but when I remembered, I took my rosary and prayed instead of ignoring and turning my back on God. It's funny, but the moment I make the sign of the cross and begin to pray, I feel a sense of peace wash over me, a peace that I don't feel when I confide in people around me. When I couldn't sleep the last few nights, reaching out to friends for comfort did not help. But the moment I took the rosary, made the sign of the cross and started praying, it was merely a matter of minutes before I fell asleep! What I used to think was boredom in praying the rosary that made me sleep, I feel now that it is actually the peace and rest I feel when I rest in God that always gave me restful sleep. A tummyache in the middle of the night, breathlessness in the middle of the day...a cry out to God always solves it. It's so amazing.

If God loves us so much, why do we yearn for human love?
If God loves us, why do we not love ourselves?