101 Fears of Commencement by Angeline Lim.

The book 101 Fears of Commencement is a witty and humourous book which voices the innermost fears of soon-to-be graduates on their attendance of the commencement ceremony. The commencement ceremony that is held yearly for graduating students is a celebrated event by the media, the school, and most of all, the parents. Graduating students themselves are often less enthusiastic about the event - some in the process of being mauled in the corporate world, some wandering with a backpack in the corners of the world, some green in the face sending out millions of job applications, and some leading 36hour workdays trying to start their own business(es). It is a wonder that despite all these demands and the unglam outfit that students have to parade around in (and also having this image indelibly printed on photopaper and digitally stored), there are still a minority few who have been looking forward to this day perhaps since the minute they crawled out of their mommy's womb. Nevertheless, for the rest of you out there who face the same fears as the author, this book is for you!

Excerpts from the book:
1. Gowntriphobia (pron. goan-tree-foe-beer): The fear of tripping over your academic gown while going up on stage to collect your certificate.

Given the fact that the academic gown is HUGE (extending 2-4 inches from the end of each side of your shoulders), about HALF YOUR WEIGHT, and SHAPELESS (something that most girls are not used to in Singapore), chances of tripping over your gown skyrockets to about 99.9%. This problem is further compounded by the following:
(1) The importance of "face" in the Chinese culture.
(2) The "recommended" guidelines that girls wear heels (court shoes) to the ceremony.
(3) The minority proportion of girls like me who break heels like men change girls.
(4) Wobbly knees due to stage fright causing girls like me to lose their balance on the heels that they haven't already broken.

Solution: Hire a bridesmaid to hold up your gown. And pay someone to slow down the music to Pachelbel's Canon in D as you stride up the stairs and across the stage to collect your certificate.

2. Hadrophobia (pron. hair-dro-foe-beer): The fear of dropping your mortar board when you bow your head while receiving your certificate.

The mortar board (the name alone terrifies) is a 20kg piece of cardboard with a huge tassel that resembles the heavy chunk of hair extending from a horse's tail. It is fixed to the head by a little piece of cloth about 1 inch in width and a bit of velcro at the end. It sits (not very firmly) on the tiny part at the top of your head. Problem is self-explanatory.

Solution (Tried and tested): Get BIG BIG BLACK BOBBY PINS, and pin as many as possible to your hair and the mortar board (too bad if you do not have hair or have too little hair). Alternatively, pretend that you are royalty and you do not bow to anyone. Walk with a straight back and a proud smile on your face.

To know more about graduating students' fears and solutions, order the book NOW at an introductory price of ONLY US$19.99. HURRY! Send me a comment to order NOW!