Obsessive Possessive Disorder

Yup. I did it again. I allowed the green-eyed schizophrenic monster in me to emerge, terrorizing poor innocent souls. I couldn't help it. I don't like the sour feeling I had when I heard about it. I don't like the tears that threaten to prick my eyes. The rational side of me knows nothing's going on, but the emotional side of me reacted as if on auto-pilot, totally independent of my rational thoughts. The emotional side then triggered the irrational thoughts, and questions, suspicions, anger, fear, sadness, disappointment arose. I need to stop feeling. To deny all feelings. To be a robot. Then perhaps ruthless efficiency, mental agility and calm dis-emotionality will converge and become the real me.