I originally had so many things to post tonight. However, everything has flown out of my mind. I am upset. Upset over many things happening in my life now. Things that do not make me happy. Why can't everyday be a happy day? Just like in Disneyland? First, was the demise of my two precious teeth, and the upcoming death of one more, resulting in my inability to take hard foods, or taste anything I put in my mouth. For days, I've been tasting blood. Second, the usual sickening feeling of I and J coming over me. A feeling that I cannot fathom, cannot defuse, cannot stop. A feeling I know will only lead to my doom. I wonder why I have such a feeling when I have everything that others want, and be envious about. Why can't I be contented and not want to be better than others? Why why why? Life's so f***ed up.