I'm just a Statue.

Despite the mountain of work waiting for me, I went through months of missed postings on my friends' blogs tonight. Perhaps it was the silence of the night that made me yearn for companionship, to hear a voice familiar to me. Perhaps it was the alternative of doing my reading that made reading blogs seem interesting. Reading them enlightened me. Opened my eyes to the reality of the world around me, blinded to me since 2 years ago. Friends. What are friends actually? Why are they in your lives? In school, at work, while having fun, during your times of sadness and sorrow, tolerating your tantrums. I read a book that said that friends are like seasons. There is a season for certain friends. They come, do what they have to do, and go. Does it have to be like that, I wonder. Why can't friends be like the season in Singapore - forever sunny and occasionally rainy? Why do they have to go? I hate it when friends go. I absolutely detest it. The blogs I read made me realize that what I thought was friendship now, is actually friendship in the past. A friendship that I hold dear, a friend that I cherish, is perhaps over. Maybe relegated to the status of an acquaintance, though lip service presents it in more endearing terms. To add to that, the intentional withholding of information seems suspect. It arouses suspicion into the honesty with which one enters a relationship. Having to find out things from someone else whom you think is unacquainted or rather distant from your good friend makes you wonder if your good friend thinks of you as one in the first place. It's not the first time, and I suppose will not be the last. It's a cycle that has to break. An obvious one-way friendship, an obvious lack of trust. I begin to question the meaning of my life here on earth. People seem to be moving all around me. Moving forward. While I remain stagnant. Unaware and unfeeling. A statue with a heart of stone. People are put on earth to make a positive impact on others' lives. Statues just remain in one place, remembered only by the sculptor. Me? I'm just a statue.